Sweet Gifts

So I'm beginning to learn just how beautiful it is when in trial and pain God does not leave us in our hurt. Not only does He promise to be with us in trial but I have found so much comfort in the body of  believers He has placed us in. 

Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. 

Isaiah 46:3-4

Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Isreal, who have been borne by me from before your birth, carried from the womb, 

even to your old age I am He, and to gray hairs I will carry you. 

I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save. 

We have received so much love from all around us it is overwhelming. We know and we are encourged that not only will our God carry us through this trial, but we know that the people around us in our life that love us are praying for us and helping us to bear this burden. 

I wanted to document some of the acts and gifts of love we have received in the past 4 months since Gloria went to be with Jesus. And in some way express to you just how much acts of thoughtfullness and generosity have helps to heal our hurting hearts. 

• We received many flowers and plants that were so beautiful and meant so much, especially if you know how much I love flowers. I really wanted to take pictures of all of them so I could remember each and every boquet or plant, but I didn't get a chance to before they died. This was a fern that we received and I LOVE IT. It is alive and kickin and has found an awesome home above our cabinet. The sad part is I don't know who it is from. (If you are reading this and it is you, please let me know, I'd love to look at it every day and remember that you gave it to us) But some how the who got missed in that crazy week of 4/29/2012. 

I love this blanket. It is a prayer shawl that a friend's parents made or had someone make. I can't remember that detail. I have spent a lot of time in the chilly mornings or evenings reading with this over my legs and it is super comfy. I love it.

These are pictures that a friend of ours, Eric Harmon,  from our church took a long time ago. He found them and gave them to us when he was cleaning out his old photography. The picture on top is of a blooming dogwood tree, which has become Gloria's flower. And the bottom picture is of a stream which is significant because at Gloria's funeral, Eric came up to Ben and I and quoted Psalm 1 to us which says:

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yeilds its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."
Psalm 1:1-3

Such a sweet and thoughtful gift. I will forever remember that moment. The moment of Ben and I hugging Eric at Gloria's funeral as he encouraged us by telling us what was true straight from the word of God.

We will yeild fruit in our season, when the storm has passed and our hearts are healed. We know from this verse that if we diligently "meditate day and night" on what is true in God's word we will be like a tree that grows strong and whos roots go deep. Thanks Eric for such a gift.

I want to hang these in the kiddos room when I get a chance.

We received this in a card. I keep it in my bible as a book mark. It makes me smile every time I flip to it. Such a fitting verse that was put on this card for the name Gloria. It has more meaning to me than ever. Thanks Rutledges

We received this gift card to a local nursery so that we could pick out a tree or plant to remember our sweet girl. This was such a thoughtful gift and I really can't wait to go pick one out to plant in our yard. I'm waiting until we build our deck onto our house so that we know exactly where in our yard we can see a tree or plant that we buy. Thanks Daniel and Rachel for such a thoughtful gift.

This is our seeds of life tree that we are growing. It came as a fertilized acorn and we have been watching it every day as it grows into hopefully someday a full size tree. Thank you to whomever sent this very very thoughtful gift. Again this came to our house and in the hussle and bussle of the day of the funeral we aren't sure who it is from. But I would love to know so that we can think of you and your thoughtfulness when we look at this tree growing in our window. 

Oh I can't even tell you how much I love this rock! I was wanting something to put out in our yard with her name on it and my sweet friends Nicky and John showed up at our house with this beautiful gift. They had also lost their precious daughter 4 years ago and received a rock like this one. Such a wonderful reminder every day when I look at our yard that she is still very much a part of our family. 

This necklace is from my sweet cousin Mallory. Who is much more like a sister to me than a cousin. I absolutely love having things with Gloria's name on them and it has her birthstone on it! I love it. 

Oh this sight makes me so incredibly happy!!! These are 4 of the dogwood trees that we were given and are now thriving out in frount of our house. Dogwood flowers are Gloria's flower and I'm really not sure if I can wait until next spring to see them bloom. I love love love the idea of spring arriving next year to see our yard full of beautiful pink flowers. Thank you to our friends and family who graciously gave us these trees so that we can remember her every spring when the new life of spring pokes through:) 

I haven't taken this necklace off since Gloria's funeral. My friend Rachel gave this to me at her funeral. It has Gloria's birth stone on it and this necklace has been around my neck since I got it. I love having the constant reminder every time I feel it or look in the mirror. I'm a total fidgeter, and so I often play with it and think of our little girl.

There have been so many other thoughtful things given and done for us, and we are amazed that STILL people think of us, remembering that we are still walking this road, and blessing us on the journey. Because it is still very much still a struggle to find joy. So we are thankful we are not alone in this. So thank you again, it doesn't seem like enough to say thank you, but we are truly grateful for this out pouring of love on our family in our time of greif. 

I will rise

An amazing song, that has spoken so much to my heart

Theres a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "it is well"

Jesus has overcome
and the grave is overwhelmed
the victory is won
He has risen from the dead
and I will rise
when he calls my name
no more sorrow no more pain,
I will raise
on eagles wings
before my God
fall on my knees
and Rise

Theres a day thats drawing near
when this darkness breaks to light
and the shadows dissapear
and my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
and the grave is overwhelmed
the victory is won
he has risen from the dead
and i will rise
when he calls my name
no more sorrow no more pain
I will rise
on eagles wings before my God fall on my knees and rise!!!!!
I will rise!!!!!!

And I hear the voice of many angels sing
worthy is the lamb
and I hear the cry of every longing heart
worthy is the lamb

Chris Tomlin

That precious name, Gloria Ruth

I got an e-mail from our aunt Denise (Hi Nisee) the other day regarding how Glory got her name and I wanted to write a post about it.  It is just amazing to me how we can see God's finger prints all over our life. Sometimes they are harder to see than others, but this one was so clear it was truly amazing.

Ben and I met in 2002, this very timeof year in August when we started our freshman year of college (wow, 10 years ago, I feel old). We were very interested in each other right away and soon realized that we wanted to eventually get married. We decided (with some serious encouragement from both our parents) to wait until we graduated from college to get married, so that's what we did. We were married in 2006 and as any newly married couple does, we talked about our future kiddos. We talked about the when, the how many, and possible names. When ever we talked about names we could never agree on any names. Which was fine because we weren't even close to having kids yet.

But there was one name that was said that both of us instantly loved, Gloria. I remember sitting in church in December of 2006 and singing "Angles We Have Heard On High" and singing the chorus of Gloria in excelsis Deo (Glory Be to God in the Highest) over and over again and knowing that this was the name of our daughter. I know now that this was God impressing on me what HE wanted her to be named, even then 6 years ago. Its hard to explain that feeling, but I remember it like it was yesterday knowing with out a shadow of any doubt that this would be the name of our daughter. Little did I know what amazing plan he had for this daughter, but I believe this is where her story began.

We also had a friend from college named Gloria whom we adore and are still friends with today. She is such a sweet, kind, and selfless person that knowing our girl would share the name Gloria with her just made us love it even more. It still makes me sad when I think about how excited I was to hand Gloria over to my friend Gloria after she was born and tell her what we had named her. We had kept her name a secret from her for a long time:)

So Gloria it was. We had no other name that we liked, nor could we agree on.

Our first baby was born in March of 2009, our first little boy, Noah Scott Saunders. We had a hard time deciding on his name, but as soon as we looked at him, I knew this was our Noah. Noah means "peaceful" and we loved this meaning, and his middle name is the name of his Pops, Ben's dad.

When Noah was 11 months old, we found out we were pregnant again. A little bit of a crazy pregnancy between graduating from seminary, and moving back to California from Kentucky with a one year old, and living with Ben's parents for 4 months.

For some reason, God changed our minds. Gloria was no longer the #1 name for a little girl in our hearts. He moved our affections to the name Eden. Eden means delight or paradise. Ben was in a seminary class with a professor that he really loved and admired and would always tell stories of his kids one of which was Eden. I always loved this name and when Ben suggested it we immediately agreed. Our little girl was born in September of 2010 and just as with her brother, when we looked at her the first time, she just looked like a Eden. Her middle name is Danielle which is also my middle name. Ben choose her middle name, because he has always loved that my dad's nickname for me was Dani.

When Eden was 11 months old and Noah was 2 1/2 we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd. This time if it was a girl, she would be Gloria. (If she was a boy she would have been Judah). We loved that her name means worshipful praise, honor, and thanksgiving. And more than anything we wanted her life to bring Glory to our father in heaven. We decided that her middle name would be Ruth after her aunt Ruth, Ben's sister. She is an amazing woman of God, and an amazing aunt to her niece and nephews. She loves them like they were her own, and they absolutely adore her. I loved that Gloria would be named after such an amazing woman and they could share a special bond sharing the same name.

When she was born, I didn't really get to look into her face like I had my other two babies. She was on my chest for a few seconds and then was whisked away to the NICU. But as they were wheeling her out of the room and I was watching her intently to trying to capture every detail of her I could before she left the room, some one asked "What is her name?" and I replied "Gloria" as she rounded the corner and out the door. And as I said it, it gave me chills. Almost like I knew this was her name from years before and it was all coming to fruition before my eyes. This little baby was going to bring Glory to God and everything about her especially her name will forever be a reminder to me that she did exactly that.

Not only did we love the name Gloria, but I was in love with the nickname we would give her, Glory. I dreamed about calling her "my Glory girl". God's plan amazes me, because she is just that "my Glory girl". My little girl that got to experience God's Glory before I did.

I love to hear this name. Gloria Ruth Saunders. It makes my heart so happy to hear her name. I think sometimes people don't want to mention her name around me in case it is too painful for us to hear it. It couldn't be more opposite. Every time I hear it, It just brings a smile to my face because this is the name that we not only gave her, but I truly feel like the Lord named her. Hearing her name just reminds me that she is with us in our hearts and also in other peoples hearts and we remember her and the way that God used her to bring himself Glory. His plan is so much bigger than I could ever comprehend, and when I hear Gloria's name I am reminded all over again that He not only planned her home going, but he knew about it from the beginning of time. And He started preparing our hearts from the time we were married to meet this special little girl.

Thank You Lord for Gloria Ruth Saunders. Thank you for guiding us in her name and ultimately Glorifying your name through her life and in the life of her mommy and daddy. We love you Glory girl and can't wait for you to show us the God you see with your eyes.